Never Have I Ever…been interested in a teenage drama
I did not expect to become a fan of teenage girl dramas in my forties. Who knew Netflix would turn me into one. First, it was To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before and its sequel. I marveled at the choice of using an Asian girl as the lead actress. Plus 1 for diversity. And then Mindy Kaling dropped “Never Have I Ever….” with an Indian American teenager as the lead! Unlike The Mindy Project, this time Mindy Kaling fully embraced her South Indian heritage and showcased many aspects of the culture in a show meant for mainstream American audiences. Plus 💯!!
I binged watched the entire show in one sitting — I am not proud, but pretty sure I am not the only one either. Even though it starts with a tragedy, Never Have I Ever (NHIE) is a feel-good show, a sitcom that follows an Indian American high schooler as she navigates her relationships with her family, friends, and boys. What surprised me was the specificity of the jokes. Some of the one-liners that felt like the inside jokes I would share with my siblings or high school friends.
In the late eighties/early nineties, wishing for world peace was a cliche most beauty pageant contestants used in their answers. It eventually became a joke, but till it did, we felt the pressure to say we prayed for world peace when asked.
Did we all have the universally “perfect” cousin we loved to hate? I could see myself exchanging side eyes with my siblings or friends every time Kamala, the cousin, spoke. Her self-deprecating lines that actually were self-brags were simply too hilarious.
“I could never be a model, I am too curvaceous”
“It is my fault, for keeping the windows so clean”
The show is full of such priceless one-liners.
The show isn’t perfect….
As first of its kind, an American sitcom with an Indian family as central characters, it has been the hot topic of a conversation with all my Indian friends. In a stereotypical Indian fashion, the bar was set so high that not many shows would pass, let alone NHIE. And let’s be real, if you don’t like sitcoms, this show isn’t for you. I was curious to hear different perspectives and so I reached out and spoke to various South Asian women across different generations. Here are some of the criticisms I heard (though I didn’t necessarily agree with all).
Accents: Indians don’t all speak with the same accent. This is always an issue with movies with South Asian characters, including The Simpsons and Oscar-winning movie Slumdog Millionaire. This is a non-issue for the non-Indian audience but it is troublesome when the characters speak with a fake accent that doesn’t fit their background. This was particularly an issue with Kamala.
Skin Color: Equating beauty to light skin color is quite a touchy subject with Indians. It didn’t go unnoticed that Kamala, who was supposed to be the beautiful one, was fair-skinned. Many of us may not know that Richa, the actress who plays Kamala, probably got the part because she had worked with Mindy before (one episode of The Office). Mindy Kaling was most likely oblivious to her skin color.
Arranged Marriage: Quite a few of the folks I spoke to found this story angle annoying, as it was seen as promoting a stereotype. The pressure on Kamala to agree to the proposal, the conversation with her potential in-laws, the need to be “dutiful towards family”. I understand progressive Indians are a bit embarrassed to see the “arranged marriage” tradition play out in front of American audiences, but nonetheless it is a tradition very much still in practice. I personally loved that the show embraced it. And turned it on its head and showed that it is possible to meet an ideal match through it. Like Kamala does.
John McEnroe: What was up with having John McEnroe as the narrator? I would have preferred if Mindy Kaling had narrated it instead. Someone pointed out that in Hollywood a white man always comes to the rescue. It felt like McEnroe (a white man) had to “normalize” Devi’s short temper. He also does come to her rescue in the last scene. It is hard to imagine this reflects Mindy Kaling’s beliefs. But it definitely was an odd choice and perhaps that was the point — what could be more outlandish than to have John McEnroe as the narrator.
The Mom: The consensus was the Mom’’s character was underdeveloped and one-dimensional. She’s a mother of a teen, grieving her husband’s death while trying to remain in control — a more nuanced approach could have elevated the complexities of her character. It eventually gets there in the last couple of episodes but for the most part, she is portrayed as a strict, no-nonsense Indian mother.
But there’s a lot to love about the show
In spite of the criticisms, there is a LOT to love about the show.
The Writing: Above all, I loved the writing. It is sharp and quick-witted. Keeping with Mindy’s signature style, the funny lines go by so quickly that you have to watch it a second time to get all of the jokes.
South Asian Representation: Almost everyone I know is thrilled to see South Asian representation on American TV. The younger generation of Indian Americans expressed the sentiment that the show has helped them feel more connected and comfortable with their Indian culture. They enjoyed Devi’s quirkiness even if they themselves couldn’t relate to the same high school experience. Unlike Devi, none of them were thinking of sex in high school.
The Supporting Characters: Even outside of Devi’s family, the casting of the show is pretty diverse. Each of Devi’s friends also have an interesting coming-of-age story arc, which makes the show even more appealing. The show does devote time to explore their family dynamics as well.
The Therapist: It was refreshing to see an Indian person going through therapy. Most Indians share the Mom’s view that therapy is for white people. I wish the show had more scenes with Dr. Ryan, the therapist (Niecy Nash). Her lines were some of the best in the show. “When you are a teenager, everything is a thing”
The Dad: We get to know the dad in flashbacks. He is handsome, caring, understanding. Did I say handsome? He is presented as the ideal husband and father. Which seems natural as we get to know him through the memories of Devi and her mother. When grieving a loved one, we tend to remember the good parts.
“Not trying to be a masterpiece”
The most profound statement I heard regarding the show was “It didn’t try to be a masterpiece, it was just a random, above-average show”. And that really captures it all. Sure, the show left a lot on the table, unexplored. There could have been more depth in the grief, the love, and interactions between the various mother-daughter pairings.
But Mindy Kaling didn’t set out to make a masterpiece that embodied all of the complexities of being a non-white immigrant, parent, or a teen. She just wanted to make a random, above-average show for the mainstream American audience to elevate the voices of non-white writers and actors like herself. And have a few laughs along the way. One show cannot represent every South Asian person’s experience, though we all (South Asian or not) could find something we could relate to. Isn’t that enough*?
- Narrator: It is, the show has been in Netflix’s Top 10 list since it debuted.
